Little White Lies

I’ve been thinking a lot about how often we lie to each other. Where we have trouble setting a boundary, a little white lie escapes:

“Oh, no I can’t meet up for a drink, I have another commitment.” A commitment to keep my options open for something better that might come up.

“Yes, I would love to come to the party, but I’m pretty sure I need to visit my mom, can I get back to you?” And you never do because you just want to be alone.

There are so many reasons why we have trouble setting boundaries, and that is a whole topic in and of itself, however, I’ve been pondering the little white lies we tell ourselves.

“Oh, it’s not so bad, every job has its ups and downs.” When you are constantly feeling miserable.

“It’s ok I was passed over for a promotion, I should have done a better job advocating for myself.” When you all but tattooed your desires on your forehead.

“She’s just going through a lot right now, she will reciprocate and support me soon, especially if I need it.” When you know your friend is self-centered and uninterested in supporting others.

“I’ll work out tomorrow, I’m just so tired tonight.” When you know that you have no intention of getting up at 5 am!

It takes awareness and choosing different, to break the pattern and begin living with integrity. For many of us, this is years of unlearning, of carving out a new path next to the superhighway of an easy out. My journey through the little white lies was an awareness of how I use this to smooth things over or to allow someone else to treat me poorly and forgive them easily. It’s a journey and a minefield of tearing down old thoughts and creating anew.

But, it is possible. It is possible to step into your pattern and use words like, “No” as complete sentences. To say “No thank you,” and stop yourself from saying more. I am still a work in progress on this front, but I can look back and say – there is progress!

Drop me a line on where you are on your journey. And as always, be well, be safe, be free!