Being Hispanic

As a Hispanic female, I always thought I knew who I was until I landed the job of Chief Diversity Officer and VP of Global Talent at Symantec. As I grew up in the tech ranks, I never worried about my race or gender. It had never really dawned on me that either were an issue, a tax, or a means of being held back. I never questioned being a minority until I had to look at what others experienced at which point, I began to wonder: Had it really impacted me?

Growing up I had always shared my national origin; I was lucky enough to have grown up in the SF Bay Area with a diverse set of friends. The question, “where are you from”, was never met with upset or cynicism, rather it was embraced as we each wanted to learn more about each other’s backgrounds and traditions. It wasn’t until we were deep into Unconscious Bias in the workplace conversations that I even began to worry if being Hispanic had somehow held me back.

Side note, keep in mind at the time I began worrying, I was in my late 30s and a VP at a Fortune 500 company, leading over 150 people across 7 different countries. I had a $15M budget and was leading some massive corporate wide initiatives with board access, etc. So, to be honest, I’m not sure it had had too much of an impact, up to that point.

But here’s the rub, for me at least, I began to worry if I had been discriminated against my whole career. At every turn I began looking for ways I was being demeaned or marginalized. It became an obsession in questioning every interaction.

Let me pause here and remind you, this is just my experience, I don’t want to minimize anyone else’s, and I can’t begin to cast a broad net for every woman or Hispanic. What I do want to share, is the very insidious way our mind works.

Back to the worry. This obsessiveness to search out where I had been, or worse was being wronged became an issue for me. It wasn’t an issue for anyone else, but it was for me. I began sorting interactions through a negative lens and my self-esteem began to suffer. Our minds are amazing at giving us more of what we are searching for, and I gave mine a command to search out, ill will.

It’s taken me a little while to pull this apart for myself and to begin formulating cogent thoughts about bias, authority gaps, and microaggressions, all of which I’ll address at some point down the line, but for now I want to encourage you to consider:

What “commands” have you given your brain that may no longer serve you, for the energy they take to sort through, and the wasted energy that they cause? It’s an interesting thought experiment and you can start with those incessant thoughts in your head. Things like, “I’m not good enough”, “I’m not smart enough”, “I’m too young”, “I’m too old”, “I’m behind in my career”, and so on.

I challenge you to consider, is what you are saying even true? What would a mentor or a friend have to say about that statement? Awareness is key to softening up those pesky thoughts and I encourage you to perk up and examine them from time to time. You will be glad you did!