Anyone else want to hit pause?

Aloha folks. I hope this post finds you well and that you are beginning to relax into the sunny pace of summer. Living in Hawaii had me moving a little slower these past few months, but things are starting to pick up!

One of the things I’ve been spending time on, is in several coaching connections. The topic of many conversations as of late has been centered around “hitting pause”. Perhaps it’s the time of year, when there is desire to be outside, slow down and play is at its pinnacle.

Are you feeling this way? I know I’ve felt the need to hit the pause button and assess whether the direction I was headed was the right one. In my thirties the trigger for it was when my father got ill and passed away. Later in that decade it was when we ended up with our third CEO at Symantec (mind you we transitioned five, but that third time really did me in). Within the last couple of years, it was during the pandemic while trying to grow a startup.

Regardless of what causes the desire to stop, I wanted to share a few insights. I hope these nuggets might help you, today or in the future. Take note, I’ve set them up as three distinct scenarios, to help provide a little color and context. I hope that makes the ensuing advice more relatable.

Scenario 1: Hey Silvia, I don’t like my job anymore, I do love the company, but maybe I should change roles. Perhaps I can move to a new organization or under a different manager within this one? What do you think I should do?

Suggestion 1: Are you clear about what you want or what you are looking for? What are your priorities, right now? What is most important to you in your life? And finally, where do you want to be career wise in 3 to 5 years?

When you feel great about the company, but not the impact you are having, I find that getting clear on those big picture questions is enough to hit the reset button. Often the malaise comes from an unconscious disconnect between what you want, versus what you are doing.

If this sounds like you, take note, if you don’t know what you truly want, then how will you assess your current role, other roles, company, career trajectory, etc.? I find that if you leave your role blindly, you will just move towards something else that might be even worse than the current discomfort you are experiencing.

Scenario 2: Hey Silvia, you are living the life! I want to be working on projects I enjoy. I would love to spend time doing what I want when I want! Maybe it’s time I did something else. Perhaps my side hustle can become a full-time job. What do you think?

Suggestion 2: My immediate response in this instance was: “First of all, I have 15 years on you, and I worked hard to get here. I worked towards some very clear goals where this life, the life I’m leading was the end game. So where are you going? What do you want for yourself? Yes, I am happy to lament and listen to how things are tough right now. I’ll give you space to vent AND I’m going to ask, do you know where you want to be in 5, 10 or 15 years?”

This individual quickly relented and realized they are in the right spot and maybe just needed a little time off. If you are feeling FOMO when you hear about someone “living the life”, consider if you are working towards the things that will help you get to your goals and dreams.

Use some of the questions in scenario 1 to be your guide. Get into reality with yourself about what you truly want out of life. Once you can answer those questions, I bet you will find you are still in the right spot. Also, as an aside, remember there really aren’t any short cuts to getting what you want. You will need to put in the work so that you can live the life of your dreams.

Scenario 3: With this individual, we spent about 20 minutes just catching up on life. We discussed summer plans and she shared there was a puppy on the way, some milestones with the kids, and a home move. After this small talk, she shared a little bit about work. There were some big structural changes in her organization that were impacting her role. I could hear a little lamenting about the parts that were taken away. Ultimately, she was worried that perhaps she was done with her career, that maybe it was time for a change.

Suggestion 3: After a little chuckle, I said, “it sounds like you are in the trough. You have a lot of change happening at home and at work, and having an existential crisis is common.” I then listed off all the things she had just shared. Each one was a life event in and of itself. We all know that life events, “good” or “bad” are hard. Change is hard! I suggested she take a breath and spend the summer being human and living her life.

If this feels like you, perhaps you want to “run” away from the career because there is SO much going on in other parts of your life, you are not alone. This is a common situation many find themselves in. Just hang in there, remember to breathe – and just slow down wherever you can. Make the big decisions once you are through the major changes. I promise, you won’t “fall behind”, in fact, I think this slowing down sets you up for rapid growth on the other side.

Final thoughts: What do all these scenarios have in common? They all require perspective When things are feeling bleak, take a beat. Solutions from a place of discomfort are often limited. Take the time you need to move into your higher self so you can see past what’s directly in front of you to see the possibilities. That is why talking it out, will help. Also, getting someone else’s perspective can help. When I need this type of support, I still go to my coach for help.

As mentioned in my previous post, I have a handful of spots open in a new career coaching program. If you are in a place where you wonder if it’s time for change or are wanting to set yourself up for the future let’s talk. I am not someone who sells hard, I’m more interested to see if we are a match and if you are in the right space for my type of help. If you are curious, just pop me an email, the worst thing that happens is you walk away with a little more clarity and a tool or two to support you. Hope to hear from you: info@heysilvia.com